Don’t you dare insult my wedding

Read this article, and then say it with me: This guy is an asshole.

I don’t give two shits if other people wait to have sex before marriage, but I give approximately five million shits about some asshole saying my marriage is less meaningful than his.

About halfway through the article, after he justifies his judging of others by saying he was judged first (how mature!) and gloats about how his wife is ACTUALLY more beautiful than yours (lucky him!), he describes a conversation with another newlywed — one of those “floozies” who decided to have sex before marriage, whose “poor schmuck” of a husband was hungover the morning after their wedding. He then says:

Then I realized something. Our wedding was truly a once in a lifetime event. It was a God’s-honest celebration of two completely separate lives now becoming one. Physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually, everything that made us who we were individually was becoming what bonded us together. Our family traveled from far and wide to celebrate the decision of two young people to truly commit themselves to each other, and selflessly give themselves to one another in a way that they never had before that very night.

Interesting. That’s how I felt about my own, secular, living-in-sin wedding! My wedding WAS a once-in-a-lifetime event. It WAS a celebration. Our family DID travel far and wife to celebrate our decision — and every single one knew we “shacked up” beforehand.

Let’s be honest here: marriage really isn’t about sex. I think most people would agree with that, regardless of whether they are waiting/waited or not. The virginity (or lack thereof) of the bride and groom in no way effects the importance or sentiment of a wedding. It’s a personal choice, sometimes guided by religion, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it, regardless of what the author of the article says. Frankly, his focus on sex and insistence that his way is the only “right” way just cheapens his marriage and his wedding — not the other way around.

Furthermore, last time I checked, I wasn’t a floozie.

What an incredible asshole.


3 thoughts on “Don’t you dare insult my wedding

  1. Jen says:


    Not “officially” married, here, but I’ve been a thing with Steve since 2000, and we’ve made it through the dotcom bust, grad school, cross-continental moves, pet deaths, and two bedbug invasions. I’d say the real relationship happens in those moments, not during 20-40 minutes in a hotel room after the wedding.

    Granted, every relationship is different–I certainly wouldn’t want some of the choices some make in their relationships, and I’m sure the choices we’ve made wouldn’t be for everyone, either. That having been said, it’s when one group foists their choices on someone else that I’ve got a real problem.

    You’re absolutely right that it speaks loads about his relationship, if it’s built on something that flimsy.

  2. Seriously. What a fucking asshole. I’d like to take this dick to the ally behind our condo and beat the ever,living shit out of him.

  3. YoYo Yogiman says:

    always remember that there will be those who haven’t a clue… they are closed down, locked up that it is a good thing they aren’t a parachute…

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