Lying recipes

Mmm, I LOVE a good cookbook! The ones chock-full of gorgeous full-color glossy photos of mouth-watering meals just begging me to throw caution, money, and time to the wind to replicate them.

Of course, I KNOW that the food looks so damn good because it is professionally prepared by a chef, then artfully arranged by a food dresser, then captured by a trained photographer. Since I’m none of these, I know my dinners will never be worthy of an 8×10″ glossy. But it will least look appetizing and bear SOME resemblance to the photo, right? I like to think that if I was thismuch better at everything, my food would look like their food.

Well, unless the recipe is lying to me, of course. Yes, LYING. Full on, complete and total deception, by a photo of something not at all resembling anything that could be produced by the described cooking process. An example, you ask?

My brand new Weight Watcher’s cookbook has this gorgeous and tasty-sounding recipe for Pork Marrakesh, made quadruply attractive by utilizing my best friend, the crock pot. Pork, dried apricots, cinnamon, what’s not to like?

Looks fantastic, no? Those perfectly browned pork chops! Those tasty caramelized red onions! Delish!  I couldn’t wait to serve up this gourmet, attractive dinner to my man!

But, um, wait…

THAT’s not what I ordered! Disintegrated pork and completely unrecognizable onions? And what’s with the thick sauce? There’s NO sauce in the professional photo! Admittedly, I did leave this in a *bit* longer than specified, but extra time is just a blink in the eye of a crockpot. I may have forgotten the cilantro, but that’s also not the difference. Duh.


1) The food in the photo was not cooked in a crock pot. Period, end of story.

2) Never trust the gorgeous photos. You’ll just be disappointed in the end.

And the kicker? This mush tasted like crap.

*sigh* Live and learn.


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