For two days in a row, as I’ve trotted across campus in the unseasonably cold weather to get my ambient-temperature-inappropriate iced americano, I’ve been treated to quite a treat. Two gulls, one male and one female, have taken up residence outside the HUB. They are never more than 5 feet away from each other, and the she-gull’s behavior has been cracking up!
She squawks constantly! She doesn’t shut up. At what? The male, of course! Her beak is always aimed at him, and he just keeps walking away. Occasionally she rushes and gives him a poke, or a bite, or whatever it is female gulls do to express their displeasure… and he just ambles away, carelessly as you please. What a nag!… and what a jerk!
It leaves me wondering — what the hell did that male gull do to piss her off so much that she squawks at him without stopping for two days? Did he check out another drab gray female gull? Did he forget to bring home some little grub or nasty piece of trash for their baby gulls to nibble? Did he plop his butt in front of their TV watching Discovery Channel and surfing internet forums (ha ha, just kidding babe!)? And why doesn’t he care that she’s so unhappy???
Maybe I’m just anthropomorphizing the gulls, but regardless, how awesome is it that familiar human behavior can be observed in animals, even ones so seemingly non-human as garbage-eating gulls? Ladies, let’s all take comfort in knowing that even female gulls can be naggy bitches!